


Sassy Gay Hairvolution

by ElDiablito_SF



Category: Revolution (TV), Sassy Gay Friend (Comedy Skit)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Hairvolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 19:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1277509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElDiablito_SF/pseuds/ElDiablito_SF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Bass Monroe.  His unkempt do is about to start Hairvolution 2.0.  If only he had a Sassy Gay Friend!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sassy Gay Hairvolution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeaRyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaRyan/gifts).



> Bea, late last year you asked me for another Sassy Gay Friend episode, this time with Bass. Better late than hirsute!

“What are you doing? What, what, _what_ are you doing?”

Bass Monroe, former President of the Monroe Republic, stared blankly at his Sassy Gay Friend. He hadn’t been doing anything. He was just _being_. In a field. A field of fucks, which was barren. Because he had no purpose in life, beyond shepherding his wayward son and his even more wayward step-daughter (yeah, right, Miles - niece, my _ass_!) back to Willoughby. 

“What? I’m not doing shit!” he finally said, spreading his arms, thus pulling his plunging V-neck down even lower over the taut outlines of his pectorals. 

“Ugh,” the Sassy Gay Friend huffed and crossed his arms, “I see you’re trying to be mucho macho for the fruit of your loins, but does that really mean you have to go full-hetero with your _looks_?”

Bass’ mouth hung open like a fish struggling to breathe out of water.

“I know you left your husband - good for you, honey! - but does that mean you also left your barber?”

“Yeah, kinda. Gould used to cut my hair, but Duncan shot him. She always did have that jealous side.”

“Oh, honey, don’t you have a new beard? And I don’t mean the one on your face. P.S. That needs grooming too!”

“What new beard?” Bass scrunched up his face, while absentmindedly caressing the bristles of his overgrown goatee.

His friend nodded violently towards Charlie.

“No way, man!” Bass protested. “She’s not MyDevaCurl certified! Do you know how frickin’ hard it is to get this ‘fro tamed _properly_?”

“What kind of an example are you setting for your son?!” Bass’ Sassy Gay Friend squealed in horror. “Are you trying to reestablish the Monroe Republic or Kid ‘N Play?! Let the girl do the do - you look like you’re giving birth by parthenogenesis!”

Bass’ otherwise beautiful face wilted in shame.

“Fine. I’ll let her cut my hair. But if this results in Miles trying to have sex with me again - I will blame _you_.”

“Oh, sweetie, you let me worry about Miles. He’s not safe from _this_ ,” he added with a sharp flip of his scarf, “either.”


End file.
